I really love you...

This is especially for my baby darling and dee bananas and my babes who have always been there for me.

Simple Plan - Save you

Take a breath, I pull myself together.
Just another step until I reach the door.
You'll never know the way it tears me up inside to see you..
I wish that I could tell you something to take it all away.

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

When I hear your voice,It's drowning in the whispers.
It's just skin and bones,There's nothing left to take.
And no matter what I do,I can't make you feel better.
If only I could find the answer to help me understand..

Sometimes I wish I could save you
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know that..

If you fall, stumble down, I'll pick you up off the ground.
If you lose faith in you, I'll give you strength to pull through.
Tell me you won't give up,'Cause I'll be waiting if you fall.
You know I'll be there for you.
If only I could find the answer to take it all away..

Sometimes I wish I could save you,
And there's so many things that I want you to know.
I won't give up 'til it's over.
If it takes you forever, I want you to know..

I wish I could save you..
I want you to know..
I wish I could save you..

I don't know if you realise. I know you are hurting in silence. You think i cannot feel it? I love you so much i know it is hurting. I'm hurting too. Can you see? I'm trying my best but can you see it? You always tell me that you understand and that you can forgive me. Honestly, sometimes i feel you can't. If you can, you would stop forcing me. It is not about my principle but right at this point there is really nothing i can do. If there is, i would have done something right? You think i would just let you hurt silently inside? You really think i am so cruel? If you really feel so, then, all i can say is that i'm disappointed in you because you don't know me well enough. I've given up a lot of things just to be with you. In the future, there will be more that i have to give up. You know what it is like to give up something really important to you. You should know how difficult it is. You should know that this is really not easy for me but i'm trying. All i'm asking for is to give me time. Is it so hard?

This is what you wrote:
"Happy, honest, humour.
Probably the most important elements of a relationship.
But it's unfair, it's never fair.
These 3Hs only happen in a bedtime story, movie,
but never in reality.
Maybe at the beginning.
But after honey lost its sweetness,
it's like a rainbow fading,
when everything dries up.
is this nature?
If it is, do we have the strength to overcome this so called disaster? "

It really makes me feel that you are giving up and throwing everything we built together away.
Let me tell you this, even if this is nature, if you really love me so damn much you would be fighting together with me. There would not be one relationship that is so smooth sailing. Never. It is nature that everything ought to come to an end but you can always save it. Flowers would wilt but you can always give them water and nutrients and they come alive again. Disasters are happening everywhere on this earth but people are working hard to rebuild their lives after that. All you need is determination. To fight for the things or the people that you love. If you feel that it is nature and that we would not have the strength to fight it. Honestly, it makes me feel that you are finding an excuse to give up without even putting on a good fight.

Sometimes, i feel that you are the one creating the problems for yourself. Sometimes, it seems like there is nothing but you are always feeling that something is wrong. Sometimes, i feel that you are the one that is bringing in Darryl based on the reason that you cannot forget. You can't forget and that is why you will always think of the bad things that happened. That is why i always say you can't forgive. Don't you get it. To forgive is to forget. If you can't forget, how could you forgive a person. You think that you've forgiven the person but deep down, you didn't. You can't consider a problem solved. It is either solved or not. No third option. Don't say sorry if you would repeat the same mistake. Don't say you've forgiven me when you can't. Don't say you love me as much when you make me feel that you are giving up. Don't say you understand when you don't.

You feel that we are going around in circles. Yes, i agree totally. This is like a deja vu. We are going round in circles so much that i've lost all directions and i feel so lost. It feels like i'm walking this never ending maze and i just can't find my way out. No matter how hard i try, i always seem to walk back to that starting point. Sometimes i feel that this is a maze that you've created. I told you a lot of times, if you have something just say it face to face. Don't make every one of our dates so happy but eventually when we are always quarreling over the phone. It is torturing me and it is draining every strength out of me. I'm still fighting so hard because i love you so much and i know that i can't lose you. Olive told me that i would be alright because i've already knew what i want. Sometimes, I can't help it that i would lose all my directions. I'm really at my breaking point. Don't act like you're fine in front of me when you are not. It is so scary because i'm holding back because of something that i fear. This something that i don't even know what it is and i feel like i would never know what it is.

Baby, all i'm asking for is for you to not act like you are fine if you are hurting inside. I just want you to understand that i'm trying my best and doing everything within my will that i can. I would definitely so something immediately if i could. I'm glad that the trust between us is coming back and i hope eventually it would go back to like what it was in the past. Try baby... Learn how to forgive and forget. You'll be happier this way...