Am i really ready???

actually, i totally agree with what ms chiew said... that i want to do well but don't know where to start from and how. i'm lost. i admit it. i'm not only lost, as in not knowing what to do but i've really lost all my confidence. i know people around me especially my tutors feel that i have the potential to do well. but... i really don't think i can... i don't know. mr kwek said that if we really want to do well we have to be ready to just study thrice as hard as the other students. means like really really really super hard. and honestly, i'm not sure if i am prepared and can do that. i just can't get use to this kinda mugger lifestyle. mr ng said that we just need to get into the momentum and it would be easy all the way till a's. but the thing is... this momentum... i've be trying so hard to catch since promos but i never seem to be able to catch it... and i'm really afraid... not only bout my a's but also my univesity life... am i really ready for all these??? or should i as mr kwek said... make a u- turn now??? but i've come so far now and i really don't want to retain... i want to graduate with good results and celebrate with my fellow classmates and schoolmates. yeah... but eventually... i'll choose what i feel is best for me. though i can't really make up my mind now or see how things would turn out to be... and with all the fear... prelims just weeks away and a's 90 days away. i'm not gonna give up... hopefully i can really turn all these fear into a strength for me to push on. this is my final lap. my final performance of my jc life. i'm gonna try my best and give it all i've got. yeah... =)

SHU HUI!!! JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU!!! =)

Mid Year SUCKS!!!!

mid year really sucks yeah... bad bad results... i am really wondering if i would be able to make it for the a's. really shouldn't have went jc. well just not suitable for jc life. i really hate it... haiz... but what can i do... well i'm already in this. juz have to wait till a's that i can get out of it. oh my... please let the a's be over soon. if not i just can't imagine what i would be like. maybe commiting suicide, slashing my wrists, smoking like crazy again or lying in the mental hospital.... woo... all kinda probability. haiz... anyway... ms chiew wants to see my daddy and my mimi this week and soon... i'll be grounded... no tv, no going out, really afraid that they won't even allow me to go out and study... oh my... then no more sneaking out... boo hoo... ya... and you know what... whatever that they say or do... lyk saying that i'm lazy or not allowing me to watch tv or going out to study... you know what... it is not going to... coz i'll just feel even more stressed up... haiz... but you know what... they always say that they've been through all this... but what they never realised is that times have changed and so have everything... everything is evolving and the stress level we are facing now is much more then whatever they've said they've been through... and you know what.. they'll never understand. and so much for my mom saying that she is open -minded and understanding... sometimes i really feel like asking her not even to talk to my hand but my arse. she is so narrow -minded and to make things worse... she is not only a bimbo... not so much of bimbo... just a chinese idiom xiong ta wu nao can describe her so perfectly... she is always being a b***h... oh... maybe coz she doesn't have to be one... she is already one in nature. nothing but a stupid f**king b***h!!!! damn...

COME ON... I NEED A LIFE!!!!

HAPPY SUPER BELATED BDAE TO ME!!!!

i juz have to say... thank you dawne, tiff, nat, hua, shona and yuan!!!! i love you all babes!!!
i was really shocked. say... this mon... i think it is 9th july... yeah... we decided to go to sentosa. initially, i thought it was juz a simple trip to sentosa to like have fun after exams. ya... actually it was... but they really suprised me coz they bought a cake and brought it all the way there and celebrated my birthday for me. ya... and though it was like already days passed my actual birthday... haha... and i actually thought they forgot bout my birthday. oh ya... and thank you hua and shona who walked the whole day at orchard to get my present. i love you gals!!! so gan dong... this is like the best thing that happened in my jc life apart from meeting my dear dear.. hehez... yup yup... even more than the times i have at dance... coz really... no one ever gave me such a suprise... =) yeah... thank you...

oh... mmm... got back my econs paper today. it totally sucks... guess this time i won't be able to pass a single subject. even my GP results sucks... i worked so hard and finally achieved a C grade and then it is like... well it dropped all the way to maybe E... haiz... sian...

went to the BMTC today... yeah... seeing what he will be going through is like good... but still... i can't bear to see him serve ns... i will miss him so much... and i'm like really worried bout him... i'm so afraid that he won't be able to adapt to the life there... since he is like so fussy... oops... haha... but most importantly... i guess... i will really miss him... =)