DEPRESSED!!!

The thing about me is that i love to live my life walking on thin ice. It is not the first time i've fallen and plunged into cold water. Each time i fall, i'll lose everything but i also know that when i swim out of cold water, i would gain something new and good in return. This time round, i fell, i'll lose something valueable that i held on to for a long time. I don't know if this something new is really worth it. This time round, it seems like i'm drowning. Water keeps filling up my lungs. I'm struggling to swim to the surface of the water for air but i'll just sink even lower with each struggle. I don't know when i'll reach the surface. Neither do i know if i'll survive. However, i know this something new i've found would give me the strength i need to swim up. I know this something new would be waiting faithfully afloat. When i finally swim up to the surface, it would be there to support me and keep me afloat. And it would continue the journey on thin ice with me. I know it will never leave me.

Walking on thin ice is seriously risky. Yet, it is like an addiction. Each time the ice gives way, i'll fall, i'll swim to the surface. Each time this happens, i'll just grow stronger. It gives me the courage and strength to keep walking on. Maybe one day, i'll walk on solid ground again but i know it would not be any sooner.

This is to someone i've let go if he'll ever read this... i doubt he would...
Believe me when i say that i love you because i really do. Just that it isn't that strong anymore. I just want to be fair to you. I'm sorry. I'll have to let you go. I'm sorry. I'm just not strong and determined enough. But i'll always be your pillar of support when you need one. I really love you... =)