I'm just such a b***h

i know that most prob this someone won't read this post. but i hope he does. i hope he will know that i'm referring to him. yeah... no one's perfect. i might be problematic. i guess i really am. coz i know the problem lies in me. i juz wanna tell him. i really hope you read this post. coz i really got no courage to tell you. even to sms you. so let's see if you're fated to read this... the problem lies in me... i love you too much i guess... that till now i feel that i'm like still searching for someone like you. though i know it is impossble to. i still miss you and i know in my heart i still feel something for you. when i knew you broke up with her somehow i felt happy. i love my bf a lot i know. but somehow.... i guess it's not more than how much i loved you... don't ask me to forget or whatever coz i can't. i tried to let go... but somehow it doesn't seem complete. a part of me still wish that we could be together again but the other part of me knows that it is impossible. i'm such a fool... i want you to find your happiness but i can't bring myself to intro anyone to you. some selfish part of me juz hope that you can find the right gal but i don't want to be the one who find that gal for you... i'm so sorry... don't feel guilty... perhaps feel happy and honoured bahz... haha...

GREAT DILEMMA

I think i've hurt yet another great guy. I'm really sorry... I really don't know why it keeps happening. But i can't control it and i really hate myself. Especially when he is the last person on earth that i would ever wanna hurt... I'm really scared that now things will change between us... Though he said that it won't but i have a feeling that there bound to be changes. By then... I know i will cry. I know i will feel really sad. But i guess there is nothing i can do... Sometimes i just wish that i'm single again but the fact is that i'm not and i have a great boyfriend now... That's why though i have good feelings for him. I know i can never allow myself to like him. And i really hope that he can really understand that a guy and gal can be close as best buddies and not only close as a couple. Let's just take a step at a time i guess... There is nothing else we can do now. I'm really hoping though we can be close like before... That's the reason why i was waiting for him to tell me and in fact i prayed hard that he won't say anything or maybe i was jst being over- sensitive... I just hope for the best...